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October 23, 2005
Duty Calls
I lead a team and as a team leader, I am supposed to be strong and not let on about how stressed up I am. This concept does make sense, if team members realise how worried their leader is, then they probably will get more stressed, become less confident and less efficient. So only in my little space on the Internet, I can rant.
I think I will probably die of a heart attack someday from too much stress and having to repress all that stress when I am at work. Even the time I am away from work, I am worrying about work. My colleague, an Assistant Manager in my unit, commented that she could only relax when she is out of the country. That is a feeling I know well now. Only when I am away and uncontactable, I cease to think about work and the issues I encounter each day and the nasty clients I have to deal with. Sometimes, I think I will collaspe beneath all this pressures but I soldier on, because I know the market value of my work experience. Just a few more years of this, then maybe, just maybe I will have a bright future ahead.
I dread going to work each day and I hate having to bring work home. But if I do not do that, I will never catch up and all my previous efforts will be wasted. Just a year ago, I was complaining about how empty my life was, today, I am a juggler. I know this sounds sick, but I prefer today then a year ago. At least I am learning alot everyday and not wasting my time away each day at work. I just hope I get out of this job alive and eventually get to savour the rewards of my hard work in the future!
Posted by Fatgirl at October 23, 2005 09:46 PM